Parking Moron of the Day, October 17, 2011

Vehicle with Kosovo ministry seal on doors. Blocking lane. Major road. While they sit and drink coffee. Morons.

call for submissions

Yesterday I needed to take my car to Mitrovica. It took me a reasonable five minutes to get it out its space and head towards the exit, only to find my path completely blocked by a small silver Peugeot. No phone number on the dash, no response to my honking. I gave it a good twenty minutes, tried to get some police interested in my cause, and waited more.

Finally, a couple of passing bodybuilders took pity on me and simply lifted the car out of my way. I'm not kidding. That story is true.

But the really remarkable part of the story is that it didn't even occur to me to photograph this event. That's how accustomed I am to moronic parking.

Probably you are too. Still, it's worth noticing just how much you get used to sometimes: water shortages, electricity cuts, and morons, morons, morons. Got a great Kosovo parking moron you want to submit to our blog? Send your photo to kosovo.travelogue AT gmail. At the end of the year we'll pick the winner from all submissions and buy you a nice cold beer.

Parking Moron of the Day, October 11, 2011

Macedonia is a country of 2 million people, half of which appear to be stationed as diplomats in neighboring Kosovo. You can easily identify them by their shiny new cars, black license plates, and - yup, you guessed it - moronic parking.

Midnight Moron, October 6, 2011

Alright... I just can't be too hard on this guy, because he's so clearly drunk. Why else would he have parked 1) in a lane of traffic on Pristina's main thoroughfare, 2) in front of a crosswalk, 3) under a "no parking" sign, 4) next to some of the only barriers on that street that clearly attempt to prevent parking, and 5) across the street from the police station? I mean: this is pretty bad right? It can't be just that he's a self-entitled prick who thinks that his job with EULEX (that's license plate number 0085) gives him license to do whatever the fuck he wants.

No... I'm going to say that this poor sap was just 6) too drunk to be parking, let alone driving. Perhaps the fact that he's parked across the street from a pub that's popular with internationals provides some supporting evidence for this hypothesis. Well, he might have racked up a new record of 6 ways to be a moron, but I just can't be mad at the poor lush.

What's that you say? Maybe he had just had a midnight errand at the EULEX complex that sits on that very corner? Forgot his coat, or a report that he wanted to read, so he stopped by the office with the private parking lot entrance not ten feet from where he chose to park? No, let's give him more credit than that. Let's at least assume that he was too drunk to reason, not that he has no ability to reason whatsoever.

Safe travels, moron: sleep well, and may your inebriated dreams be every bit as untroubled by the rule of law as your waking hours appear to be.

Parking Moron Trifecta, October 5, 2011

I could write a whole blog about the parking lot behind my apartment building. Instead, I'll try not to draw from that well too often, but I couldn't help it today, as I watched numerous cars creep around these three numbskulls:



They've tried to make it appear as if they're only extending the row a bit, but in fact they've managed to nearly completely trap about 30 other cars who, as I now watch from my balcony, have spent the past 30 minutes trying to figure out how to get around them. Nice job, idiots. Nice job.

Parking Moron of the Day, October 4, 2011

Blocking the crosswalk in the confidence zone, Mitrovica. Actual conversation below.

Waiter: (threateningly) What are you doing?

Me: Photographing.

Waiter: Why?

Me: Because I take pictures of exceptionally bad parking.

Customer/Car Owner: (sarcastically) Oh, maybe we can learn from you.

Me: I doubt I can teach you anything - this is bad parking anywhere in the world, and everyone knows it.